Siblings

There’s the family you are born in to and then there’s the family you create. And then there are the families that others create who are still related. Confused?

In the wacky world of donor insemination, we have to understand that our donor, “Bruce Wayne,” isn’t OURS. He’s ripe for the taking by any lesbian or infertile couple out there who wants to drop a few hundred on a thumbnail sized vial of his goods.

When we found Bruce, he was untested. Unused. He didn’t have that coveted “live birth” icon by his name. The symbol to announce to the world that he can produce children. That’s a deal breaker for many, who prefer to go with proven donors, but he was very new to the program, and as perfect a match to Ashley as we could hope for. So we went for it and got really lucky. Which is exactly why I didn’t want to report Elia’s birth to the bank. See, once he had that “live birth” symbol by his name, I figured he’d become a hot commodity. And I didn’t want that. He was ours, all ours! But I finally came to my senses and realized that if we want to participate in the open donor program, Elia has to be registered. So I go online to fill out the forms and…wait…what’s that?….he has a live birth icon!?? Who? When? What??

Although I felt fiercely protective, I know the reality. I’ve been on the Donor Sibling Registry where families are finding out that their donor has fathered 30-40+ children. (Illegal by most bank’s own rules, but whether it is families not reporting, or banks being greedy, the fact is that there are flaws with the system). But we were special…we were his first! Or were we?

So after the shock wore off, I found myself kind of excited. I’m definitely curious. Not in a “plan a family reunion” kind of way, but in a “knowing is better” kind of way. I’d definitely like to know who’s out there and where they are located (in general terms) for many reasons.

And as for Bruce Wayne, we absolutely want to keep the “anonymous” part alive, but we’d also love for him to know how incredibly happy he’s made us.

I guarantee that 1/2 siblings do not have that chin.

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About Alicia

A New Orleans girl living in Georgia and starting a family. This blog is and outlet for my thoughts and pondering while pregnant, figuring out how to raise a little one, defining our family as a 2 mother household, work/careers, and just anything else I have to get off my mind. You can also expect the ruminations of special guest blogger, Ashley.
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4 Responses to Siblings

  1. Stacey says:

    We have met up with our donor’s half siblings and it’s been great. To each his/her own though.

    We have an open id donor through Xytex and their policy was something like retire the donor at 35 families and sell up to 40 families. But the flaw is say you have 35 families and then 8 people get pregnant and during their pregnancy, 10 more people get pregnant…then you’d have well over 40 families. They don’t count until the live birth so there is the big potential in having more than 40 families, right?

    And you are definitely going to have more than 40 kids because that’s 40 families and many families opt to have 2 kids (or more) so there will be plenty of siblings in those families. Our group alone has over 20 families in it and most of them have 2 kids.

  2. Alicia says:

    I think it’s pretty cool that you’ve met the 1/2 siblings. If I remember correctly, everyone got along wonderfully, right? Do you have an ongoing relationship with them or was it kind of a one time thing?

    We’re with Xytex too – I was wondering how they counted and defined families. Crazy to think how many 1/2 siblings there could be!

  3. Stacey says:

    We keep up on a yahoo group and facebook group. Also, we’ve met the ones in Ontario multiple times and kind of meet up annually. We hope to meet others and meet up again with the ones we’ve met (all great, all 2 moms or single moms so far.) Good experience. 🙂

  4. Stacey says:

    Our donor is 9845 by the way…just in case yours is too. 😛

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