Man has it been hard to find the energy and brain cells to blog, write thank you notes, or do much more than just mother. I do have to say that I’ve been completely immersed in the present like never before. We just stare at her many tiny expressions as she dozes off and honestly, the to-do lists don’t matter. The prior night’s sleeplessness doesn’t matter. The “what’s next” doesn’t matter. I just want to freeze this forever, though my friends assure me that it gets even better when she starts smiling and interacting. I can hardly believe that can be true. I find myself getting annoyed by people who cannot wait until she can <fill in the blank with some milestone> because really I don’t want to rush this. (OK, except for maybe the sleeping at night part)
So, what do these days look like?
Eating: She’s eating every 2-3 hours. Until this week we were waking her every 2 hours to eat on doctor’s orders, but now she seems to be gaining and healthy. Plus, fighting a sleeping baby on the breast every 2 hours just seemed wrong. The baby-led feeding schedule has earned us a 3 hour stretch or two at night, but for the most part she still eats every 2-3 hours during the day and every 2 hours at night. (ETA: Since this has taken me 3 days to write, I should note that last night we had TWO CONSECUTIVE 3.5 HOUR CYCLES! Heavenly!)
I’m slowly starting to take everyone’s advice and am relaxing about watching the clock and am starting to watch her more than the timer. Don’t get me wrong…this type A still tracks the time and length of feedings, but it’s shifting to a more relaxed experience….for both of us probably.
Sleeping: She’s a champion sleeper – during the day! We took her to our neighborhood coffee house last weekend while they were having their Spring Fest – it was loud, it was hot, we had to constantly block sunlight from her eyes, there was AWFUL, loud guitar music, everyone needed to peak at her and try to talk to her…and she slept soundly the entire time. Now at night, when our house is completely temperature regulated, she’s softly swaddled in breathable muslin, she’s laying on the most lovely sheets, she has her white noise sleep sheep on and she’s gently rocked in one of her mother’s arms…she won’t have it. I mean, who could sleep under *those* conditions!? *Sigh*
Postpartum Recovery: Going great, really. I’m ready to get into a walking routine. I need exercise and sunlight the way most people need food, but honestly, I’m still trying to figure out how to make sure I feed myself during the day, so this may have to be a long-term goal.
And Speaking of Eating: My sugar cravings since breastfeeding have been off the charts. Those who know me know the crazy diet I was on to conceive. And during the pregnancy I even skipped some beloved foods that were ok “in moderation” because it didn’t seem right to “give” that to the baby. So I have had plenty of self-control when it comes to Elia & what I eat for her, but I simply cannot control this sugar craving. I breastfeed at 3am fantasizing about packing Elia up and driving to the nearby 24 hour CVS for Easter candy. From friends’ advice and research, it seems this is a sign that I’m lacking any of the following: healthy fats…or protein…or carbs…or healthy, simple sugars. Hmmmm. Sounds like I just need to eat more of everything. I’ve started opening the day with a big glass of juice, which has helped, but I’m typing this tweaking for some Cadbury Eggs.
So that’s life with our newborn!