Getting Here

Dear DMV Lady, Bank of America Manager & OBGYN Scheduler**,

I know what you’re thinking. You’re not even hiding it well. I see the quick glance to my 3rd trimester belly when I tell you that I have a new last name and need to update my records. I can hear the ever so subtle increase in pitch when you say the word “Congratulations”…turning it *just barely* from a statement into a question.

No, I wasn’t accidentally knocked up. And no, I wasn’t pressured into a shotgun wedding to convince everyone that the baby was conceived on the wedding night while praying that no one really did the math.

All I did was take on the last name of my partner of 6.5 yeas so our child’s name will match both our last names. It’s a simple way to present ourselves as a family, when that may not be completely clear otherwise. And it will hopefully make life just a touch easier now that either of us can take her to the doctor, or preschool, or whatever, without having to explain relationships or get questioned about mismatched last names. Ironic that while more and more straight, married women are choosing to retain their own last names (largely due to marriages and babies happening later in life, after a woman’s career is well established), we find that the traditional way makes the most sense for our untraditional little family. 🙂

**Also applies to every other instance where I have to change my name or explain why my debit card is in one name while my records are in another.


About Alicia

A New Orleans girl living in Georgia and starting a family. This blog is and outlet for my thoughts and pondering while pregnant, figuring out how to raise a little one, defining our family as a 2 mother household, work/careers, and just anything else I have to get off my mind. You can also expect the ruminations of special guest blogger, Ashley.
This entry was posted in Relationship, Third Trimester and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Getting Here

  1. Katy says:

    When I taught school, I NEVER assumed that everyone in a family had the same last name. In fact, we once had a child express confusion when he realized all four member of a nuclear family had the same last name–like, how the heck did that happen?

    Kind of funny since this is just a legal name change and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if some people wait until they have children to change their name–especially in blended families.

  2. Alicia says:

    I can definitely see that it’s perfectly common to have multiple surnames these days. In fact, the lawyer who is helping us through this and the adoption has kept her maiden name. She’s faced minor comments/questions about it once the kids got to be school age, but nothing serious. In our case, even with the addition of the baby, our relationship to each other still won’t be clear to some folks, and we hope that perhaps this is one teeny tiny thing that will help identify us as a family. Of course with the same last name, folks may just think we’re sisters!

    “Hey mister, she’s my sister!”
    “We’re close.”
    (Love me some Rent)

  3. So well written and so funny! I literally almost spit my coffee out!

    Completely agree with Katy, shoot I even considered not changing my name. But then, exactly as you are thinking, I just thought it would be easier if our kids and I had the same last name.

  4. Pingback: There may have been a few verses left out… | taylorstidbits

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s