Getting Here

Since this blog is as much a record as anything else, I wanted to document how we got here. This is what I should have been blogging about, had I the courage to start this while we were still TTC. There are SO many thoughts and emotions wrapped up in this one little post I don’t know if I can stick to documentation without slipping into rumination.

August/September 2009

  • Our “last hurrah” trip to Greece. One last splurge before we start trying for our family.

September/October 2009

  • Finish our research on babymaking. Pick a clinic, choose between anonymous vs known donors and book an appointment.

November 2009

  • First consultation with the clinic. This is real!! We learn that our doctor is pretty conservative in her approach to insemination and does more testing up front than your average RE. Also, this clinic specializes in lesbian couples, so they were full of physical, emotional and legal advice.
  • Excruciating abdominal cramps. Not period-related. Huh, that’s weird.
  • Drive home to New Orleans to inform the maw maw-to-be that this is happening

December 2009

  • Start peeing on a stick daily for the CBE Ovulation Monitor
  • Bloodwork – 6 vials
  • Visit the OBGYN for a routine check of my ovaries. Discover a dermoid cyst on my left ovary the size of a grapefruit that must be removed ASAP. What?! I’ve never had issues before.

January 2010

  • The cyst, “Marge”, is removed & recovery begins
  • Learn that we need to wait 3 months to fully heal before resuming testing to get cleared for TTC
  • Learn that the bloodwork would be no good by then and would have to be redone
  • Still peeing on a stick

February 2010

  • Extreme abdominal pain – not menstrual cramps. Please, please not again!
  • Still peeing on a stick

March 2010

  • Redo the blood work – 6 more vials
  • HSG test – tubes are clear! (Like I said, our RE is very thorough…most women don’t have the pleasure of an HSG until they’ve tried unsuccessfully for several months)
  • Still peeing on a stick

April 2010

  • A “final” look at ovaries and uterus. This was to be the final stage and all clear to start trying. Instead, we find…a cyst on my left ovary. The nurse who administered the ultrasound was concerned by how quickly I grew another cyst “of that size” and dropped phrases like, “we may have to remove the entire ovary to stop this.” My OBGYN was delivering a baby so I left without talking to her.
  • 3 days later I go in for a 2nd, more detailed ultrasound which confirms that this cyst is not a dermoid, but still no input on what any of this means
  • Had to wait over a week to get my OBGYN on the phone. She was horrified that the nurse had suggested surgery to someone of my age who was trying to conceive, but wanted to see it herself before devising a plan, so I had to make yet another appointment for May.
  • More bloodwork – 5 vials
  • Trade in my precious red beetle convertible for a more sensible family car. The timing was awful since it happened just as I started thinking that a family wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Also, April was supposed to be our first try after surgery recovery. I dealt with the 3 month delay from the first cyst pretty well, but this second one was just awful. The logical conclusion was that the cysts were growing because I wasn’t supposed to be a mom. This began a 2 week period of near daily tears.
  • Still peeing on a stick

May 2010

  • Another appointment with my OBGYN. This cyst, while complex, was not a dermoid and was actually shrinking on its own so she wants to monitor more before cutting. I’m very good with the “no surgery” part…but not OK that the only treatment plan is just waiting.
  • Call our RE, who is a fan of holistic treatment, to update her on the situation & to see if she can suggest anything more proactive than an indefinite wait. She recommends a diet plan and acupuncture.
  • Still peeing on a stick

June

  • Begin fertility-related acupuncture, where I get additional diet tips
  • Begin the craziest diet ever: No red meat, dairy, caffeine, sugar/white carbs, alcohol, peanuts, starchy veggies or sugary fruit
  • Meet with RE who gives us the best news – with the way the cyst is shrinking, she thinks we can start in July!
  • But not before more bloodwork – 6 more vials
  • Finally pick and purchase the donor swimmers. We’ve dubbed him Bruce Wayne because of his childhood love of Batman

July

  • cd4-7 – Letris0l
  • cd14 – Go in for the trigger shot & are surprised to find only 1 viable follicle – which is too small to trigger. RE  notes that my ovaries look PCOS-y. Sent home for 2 days to let that sink in and to let the follicle grow
  • cd16 – Go in for a second attempt at the trigger shot & find that the single little follicle only barely meets the minimum requirement to trigger. I express some reservations since it doesn’t sound like a “good egg” if you will, but the RE looks at me like I’m crazy and says, “You really want to wait AGAIN??” I take the trigger.
  • Call Ashley to tell her the news and let her know that this is really just a “practice run”
  • cd17 – Ashley warms the swimmers & IUI 1
  • cd18 – Ashley warms the swimmers & IUI 2 – Ashley and I leave for the North Georgia mountains for our 6 year anniversary. Ashley, convinced that it had worked, and me, equally convinced that it had not.
  • cd21 – Start pr0gesterone. Ugh, ugh ugh!

July/August 2010:

  • Two week wait. Loooong but not unbearable because I know this was just a practice run
  • Aug 5th, morning – Bloodwork
  • Aug 5th, evening – After waiting 2 weeks we decide that we simply cannot wait until the next morning and test for ourselves
  • Aug 5th, 3 minutes later – No one is breathing and we’re grinning like fools and maybe even crying. The little stick showed a +!
  • Aug 5th, 10 minutes later – I convince myself that the drugs I had to take are giving a false positive. Go to bed figuring, “wow – when it really happens, seeing that + will be the best feeling ever!”
  • Aug 6th, 3am – Get up to pee (uh, shouldn’t that be a sign?) and test again. The + literally showed up in seconds. But that was still a false positive, I am sure.
  • Aug 6th, 7:30am – Get a call from the RE’s assistant. We are absolutely, positively pregnant!!!!!
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About Alicia

A New Orleans girl living in Georgia and starting a family. This blog is and outlet for my thoughts and pondering while pregnant, figuring out how to raise a little one, defining our family as a 2 mother household, work/careers, and just anything else I have to get off my mind. You can also expect the ruminations of special guest blogger, Ashley.
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2 Responses to Getting Here

  1. Katy says:

    That diet sounds terrible–in fact, reading over it, I’m not sure there are any food left. The things we do for our families, eh?

  2. Nat says:

    OMG Alicia, I nearly started crying (in my office, no less) while I was reading this post. I can’t believe everything you guys went through. Holy crap. But you are going to be the 2 best moms ever, and I am SO, SO happy for you!

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